The gift I want to give myself in 2010 is that of self-control. I want to eat less, spend less, and stop plucking so damned much. I want to move about more, create more, and feel better.

I guess you could say I enjoy things that stimulate my senses; when shopping, I'm always touching things, loving the textures of fabrics and materials. I love eating good food…it's hard to stop because I enjoy the flavor so much. I like looking at shiny, colorful, or bright things that catch and hold my eye. I almost always have scented candles or incense burning because I love the different aromas.

All this makes it easy to overindulge when I should be thinking about the bigger picture. I want a second helping of pasta because it turned out so well. I want to order another box full of beads because they're new and shiny or have such pretty colors. It's not that I need to stop enjoying these things; I just need to know when to stop.

I have more than enough materials to make countless bits of jewelry…all I have to do is sit down and commit some of my ideas to the materials I have on-hand. I don't need to cook less-tasty food…I need to learn to listen to my stomach when it tells me I'm sated rather than listen to my tongue and get another helping.

There's more to be said, but that's for another post at another time. Suffice to say that this year will be a year of moderation!

I've decided that I'm going to try to blog a little every day. I don't write nearly enough, and I think it'll be good for me to put the virtual pen to virtual paper.

I've been down on the Gulf Coast visiting my parents for a few days now. The flight down was ok — except for that combat landing into Memphis, ugh — and the airport wifi gets a big thumbs-up from me. It's really nice being able to tweet, email, and even do a little gaming while waiting for my flights.

Of course, I wouldn't be able to do any of that if Peter hasn't gotten me this kick-ass laptop for the holidays/my birthday. /dance

Yesterday was my first yearly exam after the Cervical Cancer Scare of '07 (geez, has it been that long?). I had a great OBGYN on the Mississippi Coast since I was 15 who helped me understand and deal with my ovarian cyst/endometriosis problem. He had a great bedside manner and was really easy to talk to.

I've been seeing this doctor since October '07 (you know, the CCS) and at first I wasn't really sure about him. He was quiet in a "let's get this done as quickly as possible" kinda way. (Which isn't necessarily a bad thing when it comes to "OMG, do I still have pre-cancerous cells" visits.) Yesterday, though, was my first "actual" exam done by him, and he was just as pleasant as could be.

He asked me what I've been doing as far as work these days. I told him that I design websites from home. He asked if I used programs like Dreamweaver, and I said, "Oh no, I do everything by hand."

His jaw dropped for a second and he said, "So you can just look at the code and see what it's going to make?" I said, "Yeah, I can."

He was amazed…astounded. He said, "It's incredible that you can look at characters on a screen and know exactly where each little dot will fall. So you're like a musician in that way, someone who can read music. They look at the notes and can hear it in their head."

Personally, I've always envied people who can read music. I started to get the hang of it in high school show choir, but that was 12 years ago, and I've never picked up a piece of sheet music since. I was deeply honored to have the work I do — and love doing — put into that sort of perspective. I've never thought about it that way; it's just something I taught myself to do because I really enjoy it.

I think this is going to be my happy thought for a while.

Well, it's been nice knowing ya. Tomorrow at 8:05am US Central time, I ding 30 — the big "Three-Oh" — and I'm more anxious about it than I thought I would be, and definitely more anxious than I know I should be.

When I was a kid and a teenager, birthdays were all about the gifts. In my 20s, they were about celebrating with loved ones: going out to dinner with my (now ex-)husband, taking shopping trips with my best friends, or just having friends and coworkers give me a smile and a hug and a "Happy Birthday."

I'm definitely not a kid anymore. I don't think I even qualify as a "young woman" anymore, and that gives me the willies, LOL. It's surreal looking back on things and marveling at how much time has passed — and in most folks' eyes, I'm sure 30 years is nothin'. I can't dwell on the "shoulda, woulda, coulda" anymore, not and have enough time to deal with the here-and-now.

I haven't done very many of the things with my life that I dreamed I would when I was growing up, but even so, I'm happy with where my life is now. I have a wonderful man that loves me, three spectacular fur-babies that bring a smile to my face every single day, and a family that wishes me comfort and happiness. I love the work that I do, and it helps pay the bills, which is just icing on the cake. I'm trying to learn something new every day, and I'm constantly pushing my knowledge boundaries by taking on bigger and broader projects.

I'm happy, yes, but I can't help shedding a few tears. This is a big milestone. Happy birthday to me!

It's that time of year again, when we all look back and sigh with relief that yes! we made it this far…right before we get all jittery about what the upcoming year will bring.

This past year has been one of mostly good things for me. I've landed some corporate design/development projects that have paid the bills for a little while. I've gotten diagnoses for my mystery ailments. Our little family has grown, and grown closer.

I've also got my mitts on some really cool stuff this year, and this seems like the perfect opportunity to share my experiences. Here are just a few of the non-geeky ones, in no particular order:

Proactiv Solution
Because my hormones have been out of whack since I was 13, my skin is always doing something freaky, from being dry and flaky to its ever-popular Exxon-Valdez impression. One thing it's done consistently since I was a teenager is break out, and I finally got fed up and decided to shell out the moulah to try Proactiv. One word: Wow. I noticed a marked difference after using the three-step system just a few times, and 3 months later, my skin (and my self-esteem) is thanking me.

One thing to note: Yeah, it's expensive stuff, BUT you can change how often you receive your auto-delivered shipments (as part of the "Clear Skin Club"), from every 4 weeks to every 16 weeks. You can even change the combination of items they send you, in package prices ranging from $40 to $60 — or just cancel your auto-delivery altogether and order the stuff as you need it (at a slightly higher price), including sun care, makeup, and body and hair care items ranging in price from $9 to $50.

PedEgg
OMG, I LOVE this thing. I was having serious problems with the callouses on my heels starting to crack and peel, and they were becoming really painful. A quick trip to Walgreens and $10 later, I'm footloose and fancy-free. Peter thinks I'm crazy for using a glorified cheese grater on my feet. What does he know?! My feet haven't looked (or felt) this great in a decade.

Sudoku
Most. Addictive. Puzzle. Ever. It's supposed to improve your memory, but I find it very methodical and relaxing — great bedtime "tire your brain out" material. Can't get enough.

Kraft Mayo with Olive Oil
I love this for more than the obvious "it's more healthy than regular mayo while remaining quite tasty" reason. When my fibro flares up and my joints start bothering me, the last thing I want to do is open jars. No problem here! This container is pleasantly oblong with a flip-top lid, making it much easier to grasp and open than conventional mayo jars. Two achy thumbs way up.

Limoncello with Sprite or Sierra Mist
Chilled sweet lemon liqueur with lemon-lime soda FTW. Almost impossible to tell that it's alcoholic until you've had 3 and then try to walk. :p Tasty.